In thinking about how I want to look back on 2017 next New Year's Eve, I have come up with a few "resolutions" that I will try to stick to in the coming year. I don't believe in setting unreasonable goals for oneself every New Year's, which sets one up for failure and disappointment every year, so instead, I have thought of some ways I can improve my self-esteem and interpersonal effectiveness in an awesome, feminist way.
Feel free to borrow some of mine, and comment yours below! I want to hear what my fellow feminists are working on to improve within themselves in the coming year.
- Be less passive. I have a bad habit of sacrificing my own needs and desires in order to be of help to others, and in the process, often allow for others to walk all over me. In 2017, I am going to try to be more affective in advocating for myself and for what I want, rather than simply going with what someone else thinks is best.
- Apologize less. This is such a clichéd "female" problem - even though many women don't have this problem and for someone to consider this a problem of all women is a problem in and of itself - but I apologize too damn much for things for which I don't need to apologize. In 2017, I'm only going to apologize when I really mean it and when I deserve to say it.
- Stop saying shit I don't mean. Something I hate in other people is when they sugarcoat or mince their words in order to be less controversial. I really appreciate when other people are frank with me and just say what they're thinking, not what they think I want to hear. In appreciating this, I have realized that I do the exact opposite and I often try to be "nice" or "pleasant" by saying shit I don't mean. In 2017, I'm going to be frank and concise in what I say.
- Be less self-deprecating. As a sort of coping mechanism for anxiety in social situations, I tend to beat myself up by saying mean things about myself. For example, I often say that I'm a "mess" or that my life is "in shambles," which isn't fair. These things aren't accurate and it isn't fair to myself to continually say them. In 2017, I'm going to try to catch myself before I beat myself up. (I will, however, continue to make some self-deprecating jokes, because, after all, they're hilarious.)
- Have at least one meaningful conversation every day. For the past four months, I have been attending The School for Ethics and Global Leadership in Washington, D.C. along with 23 other teenagers interested in leadership and changing the world. While I was at this school, I had so many incredible conversations - Freudian psychology debates before 8 o'clock in the morning, the ethics of chocolate, the building blocks of a global leader, and conspiracy theories about Supreme Court Justices, to name a few - with other students. In 2017, now that I'm home, I want to try to have meaningful conversations like these with members of my home community.