Anyway, I thought that I'd address this "woman's card" business. Basically, he said that Hillary Clinton only had the number of delegate votes she did because she was a woman. He said, and I quote, "If she were a man and she was the way she is, she would get virtually no votes." Okay, first of all, yuck. Second of all, why must he bring gender into everything?? Is he really so insecure about his manhood that he thinks the only reason a woman is getting votes is because she's a woman? Donald, I really don't know why you're getting so many votes. Is it because you're a man? Or is it because you look like an oompa-loompa?
And to address the obvious: There. Is. No. Such. Thing. As. A. Woman's. Card. Being a woman doesn't really get anyone anywhere on its own. Actually, it is often a hindrance. Now, I'm not shitting on being a woman. I love being a woman! But, let me tell you, Donald, sometimes it really sucks.
In order for people like Donald Trump to fully grasp the absurdity of the comments he is making, I have provided a list of some of the suck-y parts of having a "woman's card".
- I have to buy a box of expensive cotton sticks once a month to put in my vagina 3 times every day for about 5 days. And if I have a blood-related emergency? Most bathroom tampon dispensers require quarters or randomly specific amounts of coins that I don't have in my pocket as I'm strolling to the bathroom. And the machines in my school don't even work. They just sit there, void of tampons, staring us girls in the face. And let me make a remark about condoms. You guys get them for free all the time, from teachers in schools, random people on the street, etc. Yes, sometimes you have to buy them, but they're so easy to procure for free! And you don't even have to use them! Us women, if we don't use tampons, we get bloody jeans, which is less pleasant situation than it sounds.
- I get paid 78¢ for every dollar a man gets, even if we're doing the same job. Okay, so this fundamentally makes no sense. Why should a man make more money than me for doing the same thing? It blows my mind that this exists. And some people don't even believe it! Why on earth would women lie about this? I want one dollar for every one dollar one of my male counterparts makes.
- I get catcalled when I walk down the street. I really really really don't want my ass stared at on my way home from school, and I really really really really don't want a random man with a hardhat on making disgusting comments about it when my back is turned. Okay, I have a "beautiful ass". Random construction man, I bet you think that's a compliment. I bet you think that these comments make me want you. You know what they make me actually feel? I feel objectified, embarrassed, and less of a person. You don't have the license to say these gross remarks about my body. It belongs to me, and no one else. And certainly not you.
This list could go on for so freaking long, but I really want to end it there. I don't want to make it seem like being a woman sucks. It doesn't. I love having a uterus, and everything that comes with it. However, it would be awesome if wanks like Donald Trump would stop saying horribly sexist things about my gender. Having a woman's card? Not a walk in the park, and certainly not the deciding reason in votes for Hillary Clinton. She deserves to be president because she's the most qualified candidate running. She has political experience, unlike you, orange-head.